“I've made a lot of mistakes in my 19 years of life. I'm proud of none of them. Everytime I'm sober, I can't stop thinking about all of the bad things I've done in the past. One thing I am very happy I did, though, is leave. My parents didn't care. They didn't look for me. I guess that just proves that what I did was the right thing to do. It's been 3 years since I left that house. I assumed it would get better. It really didn't. But I doubt it would be any better with my parents. They had to have hated me.”

“I got rid of my last name altogether, I don't even remember it. I wanted to pick a new one, but I never got around to it. I was busy trying to get a place to stay and a job. I don't understand why I spoke to the stranger at the bus stop 2 years ago, but I'm so glad I did. Jasper became my best friend. He even introduced me to his friend group. Jasper doesn't like the fact that I do weed, I can tell. He never says anything about it, which I like. I hate it when people pry. But part of me wants to tell him why. I'd better not, he's probably busy. I'd hate to bother him.”

“I finally pull myself off the couch, brush my teeth and fur, and grab my hat. I have to work again today. I really hate work. I take a hit off today's blunt and prepare myself for the day ahead. I walk down the streets, same as yesterday. I turn the corner and go into work. This all feels so monotonous. I clock in and take my place at the register. I forgot to eat breakfast today-it would have been ramen as always-so I'm in a slightly bad mood. Until I see him walk in. Jasper.”

“"What's up Elwood? I haven't seen you in a hot minute! How've you been?" His words make my heart flutter a little. I need to ground myself. I clear my throat. "Hey Jasper!" I say, trying to play it cool, "I've been great! How are you doing?" I feel bad that I'm lying, but I can't tell him what's going on right now. "I've been good!" He says excitedly, "Dude, we have some serious catching up to do. You going on break soon?"”

“I check the clock on the wall. "Yeah," I say, "I go on break in 20 minutes. Want anything to drink in the meantime?" "Just some water, thanks." I hand him a cup of water. "Thanks again, Elwood. I'll be sitting over there in the corner while I wait." He gives a friendly smile and walks over to a seat in the corner to wait for me. As he scrolls on his phone, I can't help but to let my eyes wander over to him every few minutes.”

“30 minutes later, 10 minutes into my break, Jasper and I are laughing at his latest shenanigans he's told me about. It's relieving to finally have a reason to smile. We finally stop laughing and he looks at me with a sudden serious tone. "Hey, I've got something important I need to tell you about." he says. "What is it?" I say, slightly nervous. I'm worried that he might say something that could mean less hanging out. What if he is moving away or something like that?”

“"You remember Hannah, right?" he asks. I nod. "Well," he continues, "we've recently...broken up." "Really?" I ask surprised, "It seemed like you 2 were working so well together." "We did," he responds, "but we really just weren't right for each other." I nod. "We decided to see other people." he adds.”

“We sit for a moment, the tension is high. I think about confessing my feelings but decide against it. It would be selfish to make things about me. "How did you know it wasn't working out?" I ask, trying my best not to pry. "I'm not too sure, I think we just knew, you know?" He answers, honestly. I like his honesty. I like that I can trust him to tell me the truth.”

“We sit quietly for a moment longer before I ask, "Are you sad? Or upset?" He shrugs. "Not really," he answers, "I don't feel too hurt." I nod. He's always so optimistic. I like that. I look at the clock on the wall, 8 minutes left in my break. It feels tense so I say, "My break is almost over, I'll talk to you later. Glad we got to catch up." I dont wait for him to respond. Instead I stand up and head to the break room to wait out the rest of my break.”

“The rest of the day was uneventful. I walk how in the rain. I was happy to see Jasper and to catch up with him. But when he told me about his breakup, I felt sad. Sad. Not for him though, for myself. That's not right, is it? I shouldn't be making this about myself. I always do this. I go into my apartment building and climb the stairs up to my apartment. I collapse onto the couch and stair at the blunt on the side table. Do I even want it?”